Uptown Theater – Rocky Horror Picture Show

Linda’s Take

What is Halloween weekend with out seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show?

In the Twin Cities it plays at the Uptown Theater on Halloween weekend and on the last Saturday of each month.

Jason and I used to go see Rocky all of the time before we got married and it was awesome to go see it again with him. The coolest thing was hearing all of the awesome commentary that gets shouted out while watching the movie and Jason seemed to not forget a thing.

The Uptown Theater is nice and had really comfortable seats. I don’t think there was a bad seat in the house. The website stated there is a full bar, but I didn’t try it. And, of course, they have the traditional movie popcorn and candy.

The group of people that acted out the movie were a lot of fun. They want the audience to participate in everything from throwing rice, toilet paper, and dressing up like the movie.

I wore a corset and tight black pants that night, but Jason said I was overdressed and so the next time I go he suggested bra and panties.

There is no parking around the theater, the closest place for parking is the Calhoun Square ramp, but it’s only 3 blocks away. Otherwise there is always the city bus system.

Note: If you don’t like fun, vulgar sexual remarks and/or movements don’t go. If you do, come to see Rocky on the last Saturday of each month!

3 out of 5 pants off

Jason’s Take

Rocky Horror Picture Show. That used to be my go-to activity for a Saturday night. Round up some Rocky Virgins and head to the theater at midnight. What a blast. Then we had kids and stopped going.

This year for Halloween, we decided to skip our traditional Halloween party and revisit our past.

Uptown Theater is a block north of Lake and Hennepin, on Hennepin. The Calhoun Square ramp is a block east and a block south of the theater, so it’s crazy-easy to get to. It’s right next door to Chino Latino, so it’s easy to pre-game at the bar there.

If you’re not familiar with Rocky, it’s a cult film from the 70s starring Tim Curry in drag and Susan Sarandon in lingerie. It’s sex jokes from beginning to end. When it’s played in the theater, there is a cast acting out the movie in front of the screen. They are all wearing costumes. A huge chunk of the audience also wears costumes, but that sometimes just means showing up in their underwear or opening their shirts to the waist to display their bras. Which is fun, too.

Audience participation is a must. There are people shouting out bits in relation to the movie during the entire movie. If you want to catch the plot, it would be better to see it on DVD. If you want to have fun, go to the theater.

I love Rocky and plan to go back at the end of the month.

5 out of 5 stars.

Total Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Dead End Hayride

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Linda’s Take

The weather was really nice for a weekend in October in MN. And we haven’t been to a haunted house in a couple of years. I asked Jason to surprise me with a place to go and get scary on a Saturday night. He ended up picking The Dead End Hayride, north of Forest Lake at the Pinehaven Farm.

I have to say I was quite pleased with his choice!

Parking really sucked there, the main lot was full and we had to follow a long winding dirt road to a Hayfield yo park. And they won’t let you walk to the entrance from that Hayfield you have to take a tractor shuttle to the main parking lot and then walk.

When we finally got in, there are lots of yummy treats you can get to warm up, a little pricey, but not outrageous. I also thought it was kinda neat that they had a mechanical bull that you can pay $5.00 to try and ride and get in a few good laughs.

This isn’t like other haunted attractions I’ve been too where you pick a line at a different scary attraction and wait to go in. There is one line to enter the attractions. It’s the hayride line.
I must say that you get the fast pass, the general admission line is about a 3 hour wait, while we waited about a half an hour.

The hayride takes you through the woods and drops you off. Let me tell you, there are loud bangs, fire, and actors jumping on the hayride and scaring the crap out of you.
And just an FYI, all the actors can touch you but you can’t touch them!

After you get dropped off, there are 2 more scary attractions to go through. All of the scenes are done well, and there is just enough light that you can see where you’re going. I hate it when it’s just all black and you can’t see anything, that’s just lazy.

I had a butcher tell me anything looks good on a hot dog bun while he was stroking my hair for a few minutes, and I think my husband’s favorite thing I said was “He’s following me, he’s following me, he’s following me!”

I won’t give anymore away, you just have to go.

I give it 4 out of 5 frightening the pants off of you.

Jason’s Take

We try to hit a haunted house every year, because we’re Halloween geeks. This year, I spent a ton of time researching the haunts in our area, looking for a place that was scary, wasn’t cheesy, and wasn’t small. I picked the Dead End Hayride in Wyoming, MN. It’s literally across the west-side ditch of I35, 5 minutes north of Forest Lake.

When we got there, parking sucked. We found out as we were parking in the far lot that the line of cars waiting to get in was 2 miles long. When we got there, it was only about 50 cars. Based purely on the parking, get there before 8 or after 9:30. They had a shuttle running from the far parking lot to the entrance, but the line was long and slow to get on the shuttle, so we decided to walk. Unfortunately, they turned us back. Apparently, there’s no safe way to walk down a gravel path through unlit woods.

So we waited.

When we got to the entrance, the Fast Pass line was about 3 people long, so we got in quickly. Once inside, there were some concession booths, a mechanical bull, and a row of biffs. As we got to the entrance to the attraction itself, we saw the line. It was easily 3 hours long. Fast Pass line? 30-35 minutes. Yay, us!

There are three attractions at Dead End.

You start with the hayride, which is the best haunted hayride I’ve been on. Actors run out of the woods and climb on to the trailer, and there are actual scenes set up in the woods. Very well done.

From there, you get dropped off at the entrance to the next attraction. That’s a more traditional haunted house. It ends at the entrance to the corn maze. The attractions are great, and well done. The actors are good and there are a bunch of little scenes buried in each attraction.

Totally worth going, even if the parking sucks.

I very much recommend getting the Fast Pass. It adds $10 to each ticket, but it saved us at least 4 hours of waiting in lines for each of the attractions.

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score: 4 out of 5 Pants Off

Eating Raoul

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Linda’s Take

A friend of mine said she was going to be in this play Eating Raoul performed by the Minneapolis Musical Theatre. We’ve seen them before a couple of years ago perform Evil Dead: The Musical. I tell you, that play was done so well and was so funny my sides hurt by the end of the performance.

Jason was able to find some discounted tickets, so we picked a Saturday night to go. Unfortunately, the same night the Zombie Pub Crawl was also going on in Downtown Minneapolis. Parking sucked, but it was cool to see a lot of zombies!

The play was funny and interesting. Not as good as Evil Dead: The Musical, but still done really well. Plus there was a guy running around in their underwear, women wearing leather, and a lot of talk about sex. And you can buy drinks there.

The play is about a really bland married couple who are trying to get enough money to open a small restaurant in California. He loses his job and she was rejected for a loan, so they come up with an idea to have swingers come to their home for a night of fun then kill them and steal all their cash.

Its a mouthwatering musical of murder and mayhem!

I give it 3 out of 5 pants off

Jason’s Take

Linda told me a friend of hers was going to be in a play. We’ve seen the same theater company do something awesome with Evil Dead: The Musical, so we thought this would be pretty sweet.

I went looking for a discount and found tickets on Goldstar for $12.50 each. Done.

The play is about a boring couple who decides to fund a restaurant by luring swingers into their apartment and kill them. They took lessons from a dominatrix and made a public access television commercial. The next thing you know, every fetish and fantasy is being played out on stage, from cheerleaders to angry nuns giving spankings. Hitler even made a brief appearance.

It’s full of dirty jokes and half-dressed people. That’s a win.

The downsides:

This was the night the Zombie Pub Crawl decided to set a world record of 25,000 zombies at one event. Yes, a zombie invasion almost made us miss the play because there was very little parking and some of the streets in downtown Minneapolis were closed.
New Century Theater is small. I’d guess it could hold 150 people. And the seats weren’t exactly awesome.
New Century Theater is hard to find. The address on the door is behind a pillar. If you’re going, the theater is right damn next door to Fogo de Ciao. 20 feet to the left. If I would have known that, I would have let the Fogo valets park my car for me for $10.

The upsides:

Live theater means culture, right? Even if the live theater is chicks (and a surprisingly attractive man!) in corsets singing about bondage.
They serve booze that isn’t overpriced.
The building is easy to get to and has ample garage parking 364 nights a year.
Did I mention women in lingerie making dirty jokes?

They did a great job, especially for a small theater troupe in a small theater. I totally recommend it.

4 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score: 3.5 out of 5 pants off

Joke Joint Comedy Club

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Linda’s Take

I looked at the weather report because I live in Minnesota and that just makes sense. Weekend forecast for Friday night was blustery and I didn’t want to be outside more than I would have to. Plus I just got a new black dress and wanted to look good for Jason. (editor: She succeeded!)

I thought of going to the comedy club at the Mall of America, but they were all booked. Jason was awesome and located another comedy club close to our dance lesson. Plus he said they have a bar and serve food.

When we got there and I sat down I realized that I was way over dressed for the place; I kinda felt silly wearing a dress cause this is a jeans and t-shirt place, or tight tank top works too(ed: #Winning!).

They are able to fit a lot of people in the space provided, but the stage is really small; I guess comics don’t need a lot of room.

The food isn’t much too really talk about, it’s all deep fried stuff. Onion rings, fries, cheese curds, poppers, and mini sliders. They have a few more options, but I didn’t pay that much attention. But the drinks are really good! They make them strong and well. I only had 2 tropical drinks and I was feeling it, then I got a 3rd and lets say I was gone.

I do have to say that since this is a comedy club, the comedy was awesome! I smiled and laughed until my face hurt, then I laugh some more! They do deliver in the laugh your pants off department! I wouldn’t mind going back a few times, only this time I’ll be ready for laughs and drinks and dress a little bit warmer!

I give it 3 out of 5 pants off!

Jason’s Take

Friday night, we wanted to focus more on an activity and less on food. Linda wanted to go to the comedy club at the Mall of America, but they were booked, so I looked around and found the Joke Joint in Lilydale, which is a dinky little city squished between Mendota Heights and the Mississippi river. The town barely has its own zip code. Seriously, it could be Eagan or St. Paul, easily, and I’ve seen the address listed as each of those.

We booked tickets online, which is listed as cheaper than at the door, but the “convenience” fee makes the prices the same. We also paid for the premium seats, but that was a waste. It’s a small venue. It’s not possible to have bad seats. The front row is using the stage as a footrest.

First, the food. It was all fried bar food. There was nothing worth talking about, but the beer was just $4 for a tall domestic.

Now, the comedy. You don’t go to a comedy club for the food.

We saw two acts, plus a 5 minute opener: Nate Abshire and Paul Hooper.

Abshire was funny as hell. His riff on the 5 daily minutes to make a relationship last forever if you’re a woman had me rolling…and Linda scowling. Sorry, honey, but it’s funny AND true. I’d pay to just see him on stage. Plus he sold Bill & Ted inspired posters in the lobby after the show. That’s a pure win. Wild Stallyns!

Hooper was funny. His good bits beat Abshire’s, but his depressing bits definitely knocked the average into Abshire’s favor.

But they were both good. I’d go back.

4 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score: 3.5 of 5 pants off.

Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill

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Jason’s Take

Linda and I are taking dancing lessons, which means we are also always interested in finding places to dance.

Enter’s Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill. They’ve got live music at least 4 nights a week, and the biggest dance floor I’ve seen in the western suburbs.

It’s gimmicky, it’s country, and the giant guitar-shaped bar can be irritating to walk around, but it’s fun.

The food…sucks. I’ve never been happy eating there. I’ll occasionally get an appetizer, but I try to avoid it. It’s all greasy and not worth getting.

The music, however is good. It’s almost all some blend of country and rock, which makes for fun music to dance to.

If you’re going to dance, I recommend getting there about 9. That’s when the music usually starts, and by 10:30, there are so many obnoxious drunks standing around the dance floor that dancing is almost impossible.

I know some people are offended by waitresses dressed slutty, but it’s not that bad. It’s a bunch of attractive women in shorts and tank tops that don’t leave a lot to the imagination, but they fade in to the scenery pretty fast. By your third visit, you hardly notice. I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad.

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Linda’s Take

So I’m a country girl at heart, even though I grew up in a city suburb; put me on a horse and I’m in heaven.

So naturally, I like country music…really anything with a good beat is alright with me, but I mostly listen to country. So ever since Jason and I started taking our dance lessons, it only made sense to use what we are learning on a regular basis, right? Toby Keith’s Bar and Grill is really close to us, so, duh, it makes sense to shake our groove thing there!

We had been there a couple of times before to eat, but I don’t think I’ll ever order food there again. It seems to be just one step up from fast food for twice the price, however it’s an awesome place to go to and listen to live country music and, with a bigger dance floor than most places, this works for us really well!

But only if people that just stand on the dance floor and hold drinks and don’t dance taking up space on the dance floor get OFF the dance floor! (editor’s note: Or just die!) Oh gosh, that’s so annoying!

We found out that you don’t need to know how to line dance to be able to dance there, however, I wouldn’t mind learning some of that, just not the Achey Breaky that I was thought back in Jr. High School. Swing dancing works well with just about any up-beat song! Get a bunch of turns going and you look like a pro! And don’t worry if you fall on your ass, we have seen that a few times out there!

There is almost a live band every night, and most are really good. Also it’s only a $5.00 cover on Friday and Saturday nights, and there is no cover for Sunday – Thursday. Great way to practice dancing and have a few drinks, or just to have some country fun.

3 out of 5 pants off

Total Score: 3.5 out of 5 Pants Off

Minnesota Renaissance Festival

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Linda’s Take

Jason and I love going out to the Minnesota Renn Fest and the family likes going out there as well. We took the kids and a friend and his son there one weekend. We wanted to have the kids see a few shows that you can only see there. Anything with fire is always going to be a hit! We also watched a belly dancing show and the kids got to enjoy music and food that is different from your everyday life. Also our kids love to watch the joust: horses, armor, and sword fighting….what’s not to love about it!?!?

A few weeks later Jason and I went out there, just the two of us. I was so happy to wear my red leather(editor’s note: sexy!) that we bought there about 10 years ago. It’s a place were leather is encouraged, and I must admit I like to wear leather. Shopping in all the shops is always fun there, whether its spending money or just window shopping. I got some jewelry and some more leather, a leather pouch this time, not clothes, and Jason got some weapons! I must admit that he will look super sexy if he learns to use them right, guys who know how to use swords and axes are always hot! Oh, and I tried alligator for the first time! Pretty good too!

I always give this place 5 out of 5 pants off!!!!!

Jason’s Take

Renn Fest is awesome, though this is the first year we’ve gone three different time.

The first time, we brought the kids, because belly and fire dancers are an important part of growing up.

The other two times, we had Punk #1 watch Punks 2 & 3 so we could have some adult time.

Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. Mostly.

The show are good. We caught a fire show, a belly dancing show, several juggling acts, and a few others. If there’s a show that can happen in a 1500s world, you can see it out there and have a good time doing so.

Most of the food is nothing spectacular. It’s a lot of easy-to-serve fried stuff. I love the chicken wild rice breadbowl soup, while Linda totally dug the frozen chocolate covered banana. Eating that while wearing red, low-cut leather is a sure way to get attention. The gyros and gator are good. The bloomin’ onion is not. The gelato is worth eating.

If you’re into kink, there are straps, collars, cuffs, and blindfolds galore. If you’re into steampunk or random anachronistic costumes, you’re set. If you like old-looking weapons or decorations, you can scratch that itch. If you dig watching women walk around in clothes they’d be too embarrassed to leave the house in any other time of the year, you’ll leave happy. There’s a lot of leather, lace, and silk at Renn Fest, both in the stores and on the visitors.

I give it 5 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score

Forever Yogurt

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Jason’s Take

A few nights ago, Linda had to work, and I had to come up with something to entertain the kids.

My solution: frozen yogurt from Forever Yogurt in the West End development. They’ve got 16 flavors of frozen yogurt, 50 different toppings to put on them to make the frozen yogurt as far from a healthy alternative to ice cream as possible, and they are immediately next to the most deserted part of the parking ramp complex over there.

They charge about 60 cents an ounce, so it stays affordable. It cost $23 to take three kids out, and they all love being able to get exactly what they want.

I strongly recommend limiting them to 3 or four toppings, or young brats will turn it into a horribly, sugary abomination that even they won’t eat.

Been there, done that.

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Fred Astaire Dance Studio

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Jason’s Take

When we got married half a lifetime ago, we decided to take dancing lessons for the reception. And we rocked it.

A few months ago, Linda found a Groupon for the same studio (Fred Astaire in Eagan), so she signed us up, and we’ve been going every week since.

And we’re still rocking it.

Chad and Beth are our instructors and they are good at what they do. Once you get past the beginner stage, you’ll pick four dances to focus on. Their theory is that it’s as easy to learn 4 dances as it is to learn two, because so many of the steps are similar. We learning the Waltz, Rumba, Swing, and Tango. Just like Gomez and Morticia.

Some guys are going to read this and think they can’t take dance lessons because it’s too girly. All I can say to that is that dancing is foreplay. There ain’t nothing un-manly about foreplay.

And seriously, if you go there, tell them Jason and Linda sent you. You’ll get a discount and we’ll get a free lesson.

5 out of 5 pants off.

Linda’s Take

A few months back, Jason and I were looking to going out on dates to connect with each other. I looked on Groupon and found a beginner group dance class at Fred Astaire Dance Studio. I found some more information about the place and found out that this was where we took dance lessons at before we got married, now in a new location.

I kept this as a total surprise to Jason, not giving any hints as to what we were going to do. When we got there I saw the biggest smile on his face and he was super happy to do this with me again. I felt like I did something right and was also super happy.

After we did our Groupon special–an unlimited month’s worth of beginner group lessons for only $69.00–we decided that we should make this a hobby to get better at. So we signed up for a beginner package deal. Plus, if we had friends to join up for any classes we would get a free class and friends would get a discount on their package classes.

Ballroom dancing is something that you both have to work at, just like a relationship. You have to work together to sync up, and when you do, magic happens!

I have to admit that when we go out dancing at local places, I love being the girl that others girls look at while I’m dancing with Jason and they are thinking, “I wish my boyfriend would learn how to dance with me like that!” Actually Jason is the one who pointed that out to me, when we are dancing I’m totally focusing on him.

5 out of 5 pants off!!!

Total Score

Minnehaha Park

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Linda’s Take

We needed something to do for a Sunday afternoon, but money can be tight with a family of 5. Jason came up with the idea of going to Minnehaha Falls because our younger kids had never seen it.

Other than a bit of whining about how far we had to walk to the falls from my parking spot the kids. That the falls were really wonderful to watch and they were amazed at what they saw.

We all did a bit of hiking along the river and the kids were asking many questions, we even got a smile out of her teenage son. I think we hiked a total of 3 miles that day, and with all the beauty of the river, I don’t think I even heard one complaint.

My review is that if you want a great place to picnic, or enjoy a walk with the family, friends, or a special someone, this is the place to go. But parking can be a pain.

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Jason’s Take

Lately, we’ve been trying to take the brats out to do something active on the weekends. A couple of weeks ago, we decided the thing to do was go hiking around Minnehaha Falls. You get to see the falls, then you have an option to hike 5-ish miles up one side of the river and down the other. The trails are pretty easy, and there are six (I think) bridges to give you a chance to turn back and walk up a different trail.

It’s nice, it’s close, and it makes me want to pose Linda in sexy outfits on some of the nice stone bridges, just to take photos I can’t post on Facebook.

It’s a good time and definitely worth doing. If you drive past the main parking lot and don’t mind a short walk, there’s a small parking lot that’s usually pretty empty by the lock and dam.

I give it 3 out of 5 pants off.

Total Rating

3.5 Pants Off

French Regional Park

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Linda’s Take

Needed the kiddos to get out of the house and get some exercise, not to mention Jason and I could use some more too. We ended up having an extra kid with us, so we wanted to go somewhere close.

We decided to head to Clifton E. French Regional Park, there is plenty of parking and a great playground for the kids.

We told the kids that we were gonna skip the playground and get some good hiking in. The trails are well maintained and it was nice to walk on the grass instead of something paved. Not as much to look at but plenty of shade on the trails to help cool you down.

After a 2.5 mile hike we surprised the kids by letting them splash around in the lake. The beach was nice and clean and the picnic area looks fun.

I laid out on the beach and got to sun bath, my first time wearing a bikini in public. I think I surprised myself doing that! The kids loved splashing in the water, it was very shallow and great for them to cool off. Plus there was ice cream that you could buy, always a plus.

My review is 5 out of 5 pants off for a great family place to go!

Jason’s Take

Keeping with the idea of making the brats leave the house on the weekends, we went out French Regional Park last weekend. There are 10-ish miles of trails, plus a small, shallow swimming beach, and boat rentals. Linda and I have rented a kayak in the past, but we didn’t do that this time.

We hiked a couple of miles, then headed to the beach. The end of the swimming are is only chest high on the girls, so it was nice to sit down and read a book while they pretended to swim. Linda took the opportunity to get some sun. The trails are mostly undeveloped, but have solar-powered streetlights in places, so late hiking is also a possibility.

I give it 3 pants off.

Total Rating

4 Pants Off