Burger Jones

Linda’s Take

So Jason was helping out with my job in the morning and we thought we would grab a bite to eat for lunch. He said he heard about this burger place near Lake Calhoun.

So we went there, it’s called Burger Jones and it’s located in Calhoun Village right on the end of the strip mall.

Let me tell you, if you’re watching calories don’t go here! Everything is gonna be on the greasy side. However, I have to admit that the cheese curds that we ordered were melt in your mouth yummy.

I ordered a buffalo burger and it was really good. Jason got a burger called “White Trash” and it really looked like it, but it tasted really good. However I thought it looked like a heart attack on a bun!

I have to admit that their fries sampler with 3 dips to choose from was really delish! Especially the sweet potato fries!

I would go back, but I would like to come with the kids in the summer and just get some fries and try one of their malts. They had some interesting flavors on the menu.

I give it 2 out of 5 pants off

Jason’s Take

Thanks to my current tour of unemployment, Linda and I have been able to enjoy lunch together far more often than normal.

A recent trip was to Burger Jones in Calhoun Village. They clearly focus on serving burgers and do a good job at that.

We started with some cheese curds, which were sitting in a pool of grease that soaked through the butcher paper they were served on. Regardless of the presentation, they were damn good and literally melted in your mouth. Almost no chewing or swallowing was required.

I got the White Trash Burger, which was kind of insane. It’s chicken-fried bacon, fried cheese curds, and Velveeta on a burger. It looked horrible, but the combination actually worked well. It was good, but I’ll never order it again. It’s not good enough for a coronary bypass.

Linda got the “Tiny Tummy Tatanka” burger, which is buffalo meat on flatbread. I stole a bite and enjoyed it.

We split their fries sampler which gave us a huge pile of Parmesan waffle fries, maple-bacon sweet potato fries, and regular french fries, with our choice of three sauces. We got the chipotle aioli(good), the seasoned sour cream(good), and the avocado mayo(boring). The sweet potato fries were easily the best sweet potato fries I’ve ever had. By comparison, every other fried stick-like object made from sweet potatoes should get a new name. I recommend “Why bother fries”.

So, two burgers, an appetizer, and a giant bowl of fries for $52.66. Not a cheap place to go, but very not bad. And after you’re done, you can head to Rustica a few doors down and get some still-warm fresh-baked bread. Holy yum, Batman!

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score: 3 out of 5 pants off.

Uptown Theater – Rocky Horror Picture Show

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Linda’s Take

What is Halloween weekend with out seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show?

In the Twin Cities it plays at the Uptown Theater on Halloween weekend and on the last Saturday of each month.

Jason and I used to go see Rocky all of the time before we got married and it was awesome to go see it again with him. The coolest thing was hearing all of the awesome commentary that gets shouted out while watching the movie and Jason seemed to not forget a thing.

The Uptown Theater is nice and had really comfortable seats. I don’t think there was a bad seat in the house. The website stated there is a full bar, but I didn’t try it. And, of course, they have the traditional movie popcorn and candy.

The group of people that acted out the movie were a lot of fun. They want the audience to participate in everything from throwing rice, toilet paper, and dressing up like the movie.

I wore a corset and tight black pants that night, but Jason said I was overdressed and so the next time I go he suggested bra and panties.

There is no parking around the theater, the closest place for parking is the Calhoun Square ramp, but it’s only 3 blocks away. Otherwise there is always the city bus system.

Note: If you don’t like fun, vulgar sexual remarks and/or movements don’t go. If you do, come to see Rocky on the last Saturday of each month!

3 out of 5 pants off

Jason’s Take

Rocky Horror Picture Show. That used to be my go-to activity for a Saturday night. Round up some Rocky Virgins and head to the theater at midnight. What a blast. Then we had kids and stopped going.

This year for Halloween, we decided to skip our traditional Halloween party and revisit our past.

Uptown Theater is a block north of Lake and Hennepin, on Hennepin. The Calhoun Square ramp is a block east and a block south of the theater, so it’s crazy-easy to get to. It’s right next door to Chino Latino, so it’s easy to pre-game at the bar there.

If you’re not familiar with Rocky, it’s a cult film from the 70s starring Tim Curry in drag and Susan Sarandon in lingerie. It’s sex jokes from beginning to end. When it’s played in the theater, there is a cast acting out the movie in front of the screen. They are all wearing costumes. A huge chunk of the audience also wears costumes, but that sometimes just means showing up in their underwear or opening their shirts to the waist to display their bras. Which is fun, too.

Audience participation is a must. There are people shouting out bits in relation to the movie during the entire movie. If you want to catch the plot, it would be better to see it on DVD. If you want to have fun, go to the theater.

I love Rocky and plan to go back at the end of the month.

5 out of 5 stars.

Total Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Eating Raoul

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Linda’s Take

A friend of mine said she was going to be in this play Eating Raoul performed by the Minneapolis Musical Theatre. We’ve seen them before a couple of years ago perform Evil Dead: The Musical. I tell you, that play was done so well and was so funny my sides hurt by the end of the performance.

Jason was able to find some discounted tickets, so we picked a Saturday night to go. Unfortunately, the same night the Zombie Pub Crawl was also going on in Downtown Minneapolis. Parking sucked, but it was cool to see a lot of zombies!

The play was funny and interesting. Not as good as Evil Dead: The Musical, but still done really well. Plus there was a guy running around in their underwear, women wearing leather, and a lot of talk about sex. And you can buy drinks there.

The play is about a really bland married couple who are trying to get enough money to open a small restaurant in California. He loses his job and she was rejected for a loan, so they come up with an idea to have swingers come to their home for a night of fun then kill them and steal all their cash.

Its a mouthwatering musical of murder and mayhem!

I give it 3 out of 5 pants off

Jason’s Take

Linda told me a friend of hers was going to be in a play. We’ve seen the same theater company do something awesome with Evil Dead: The Musical, so we thought this would be pretty sweet.

I went looking for a discount and found tickets on Goldstar for $12.50 each. Done.

The play is about a boring couple who decides to fund a restaurant by luring swingers into their apartment and kill them. They took lessons from a dominatrix and made a public access television commercial. The next thing you know, every fetish and fantasy is being played out on stage, from cheerleaders to angry nuns giving spankings. Hitler even made a brief appearance.

It’s full of dirty jokes and half-dressed people. That’s a win.

The downsides:

This was the night the Zombie Pub Crawl decided to set a world record of 25,000 zombies at one event. Yes, a zombie invasion almost made us miss the play because there was very little parking and some of the streets in downtown Minneapolis were closed.
New Century Theater is small. I’d guess it could hold 150 people. And the seats weren’t exactly awesome.
New Century Theater is hard to find. The address on the door is behind a pillar. If you’re going, the theater is right damn next door to Fogo de Ciao. 20 feet to the left. If I would have known that, I would have let the Fogo valets park my car for me for $10.

The upsides:

Live theater means culture, right? Even if the live theater is chicks (and a surprisingly attractive man!) in corsets singing about bondage.
They serve booze that isn’t overpriced.
The building is easy to get to and has ample garage parking 364 nights a year.
Did I mention women in lingerie making dirty jokes?

They did a great job, especially for a small theater troupe in a small theater. I totally recommend it.

4 out of 5 pants off.

Total Score: 3.5 out of 5 pants off

Minnehaha Park

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Linda’s Take

We needed something to do for a Sunday afternoon, but money can be tight with a family of 5. Jason came up with the idea of going to Minnehaha Falls because our younger kids had never seen it.

Other than a bit of whining about how far we had to walk to the falls from my parking spot the kids. That the falls were really wonderful to watch and they were amazed at what they saw.

We all did a bit of hiking along the river and the kids were asking many questions, we even got a smile out of her teenage son. I think we hiked a total of 3 miles that day, and with all the beauty of the river, I don’t think I even heard one complaint.

My review is that if you want a great place to picnic, or enjoy a walk with the family, friends, or a special someone, this is the place to go. But parking can be a pain.

I give it 4 out of 5 pants off.

Jason’s Take

Lately, we’ve been trying to take the brats out to do something active on the weekends. A couple of weeks ago, we decided the thing to do was go hiking around Minnehaha Falls. You get to see the falls, then you have an option to hike 5-ish miles up one side of the river and down the other. The trails are pretty easy, and there are six (I think) bridges to give you a chance to turn back and walk up a different trail.

It’s nice, it’s close, and it makes me want to pose Linda in sexy outfits on some of the nice stone bridges, just to take photos I can’t post on Facebook.

It’s a good time and definitely worth doing. If you drive past the main parking lot and don’t mind a short walk, there’s a small parking lot that’s usually pretty empty by the lock and dam.

I give it 3 out of 5 pants off.

Total Rating

3.5 Pants Off